taken down by a botched snack time

Abi’s first day of  3^rd grade was derailed by a lack of available food, anxiety and a series of expectation failures. Sometimes you just can’t make this stuff up – nor can we see it coming. Who knew?? Not me.

Abi does take anxiety medicine and we just recently increased it to meet her needs… but there are situations where it just isn’t enough and her anxiety is all tangled up in food – not necessarily eating, but just having access to food and there being enough food and there’s some hoarding issues in there, too as she crosses the line from generalized anxiety into obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Back to school… basically, 10am is snack time, and Abi’s anxiety was high today, it’s been building, and when snack time was over, and she wasn’t done comfort eating… all hell broke loose.

She declined rapidly to barking, hissing, and was eventually under her desk and lifting and tossing chairs and the other students had to leave the classroom. Her teacher called me and so calmly explained the situation. I decided to check Abi out for lunch (I basically threw on shoes and lipgloss and walked out the door to get her), feed her, “reset her” and returned her to school.

She made it to the end of her day with just a few small issues, scraped her knee on the way home and basically imploded as she walked in the door. Screaming, throwing things at me, cackling in this really wired, forced way. What started as a tantrum turned into a meltdown of epic proportions and after an hour, I was exhausted and in a losing battle.

I don’t choose those battles – EVER – so at 4pm I started her bedtime routine and by 4:30pm she was asleep, after her raging turned to sobbing (I just want to have a good day! I don’t want to go back to school… please don’t make me go tomorrow) and then to just soft talking about how she wanted to go to music class.

I laid with her for about half an hour and right before she fell asleep she said, “My tears are still dropping…” and then she was out.

It took me another FULL hour to recover from her heartbreaking sobs and the intensity of her rage and the gamut of emotions she drags me through in between in trying to get her under control. But I regrouped, talked to my mom, talked to Sean, emailed with Abi’s teacher and then I headed to Target.

I may have overspent and our bank account may be overdrawn before payday, but I refuse to be taken down by a botched snack time.

So I secured a really neat snack tote, a smaller snack tote (really a large pencil bag) and enough snacks to feed her for at least 2 weeks, stickers and some chocolate (oh, that’s for me).

Here’s the system:

The snacks:

Her snack tote for her morning snack, which she can eat until she’s done (not being able to finish is a huge issue for her):

Inside that snack tote is the smaller emergency snack tote that is for the AFTERNOON – when there isn’t actually a snack time, but Abi’s teacher has approved her to have access to additional snacks to help decrease her anxiety. Once her food is gone – it’s gone (and we hope as she adjusts to her classroom, the need for the emergency snack tote will diminish).

And she will also take her pink Spongebob lunch tote that she’s been carrying for 2 years now for her regularly scheduled lunch break.

Undoubtedly, Abi will wake up about 3am… and I’ll show it all to her then. 😛

and the Madsens sweep the podium!!!!

                                

I live with two of the most powerful cyclists I’ve ever known… and a 2 year old (she takes the bronze daily but we anticipate her medal run to end by the time she turns three). 

My other two have been cyclists most likely since the day they were born… if not before, as evidenced by erratic behavior and posturing in Abigail inutero. (No lie, we have her on sonogram video.)

More recently, they’ve been cycling at top speed, for almost two years now. My previous thought was not that this race had no ending (our previous “races” show to end, allowing my cyclists some natural rest) but that there was no prize, no reward, and no “upside.”

It’s heading nowhere and fast even despite therapies, medications (oh, man the medications!!!), dietary and sleep regimens, vitamins, and all the loving support in. the. world.

My cyclists just keep on going. Up and down, round and round. And round. And round.

Often times, they cycle so fast, in circles around me, that I don’t even know what hit me until the day after a long, horrible weekend when I’ve consumed way too much chocolate, done way more shouting than necessary (or was it?) and been so exhausted I’ve been asleep on the couch at 4pm each day.

But, perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps my cyclists deserve a prize – a medal even, of the gold and silver nature, for being such determined, capable athletes. For sure the reigning world champs from 2011 and without a doubt the favorite for gold (Abigail) and silver (Sean) in 2012 Olympic style.

They are athletes who perform spectacularly with very little training, often against their will, but are able to still function daily to the point that most reading this will be surprised to learn how much time they spend cycling.

It’s one of the most persistent, efficient, and determined things I’ve ever witnessed actually, impressive, even, when I can get far enough removed from the fall out and stress of it to appreciate.

See, my cyclists are hardcore. They compete, sometimes as teammates and sometimes in direct conflict with each other, just like the mailman: come rain, sleet, snow, sun, hell or high water…. They cycle. And cycle. And cycle.

                  

That’s me on the ground.